So I've been pursuing online dating, really for years, but I realize I've only been serious about it for the last few months. Back in November I got as far as agreeing to coffee with a guy, but then I kinda freaked out and canceled because I found I wasn't as over my ex as I'd hoped. Then last month I did go on a blind date, so I've got that "first date after the breakup" thing taken care of and I feel like I'm ready to just go out on dates and see what happens.

Instead, I've been alternately discouraged and annoyed. My eHarmony matches are all ridiculously far away (I live northwest of NYC, so yeah, Long Island is within 30 miles, but there's also two damn rivers in between!) On every site, I only get messages from guys I don't find attractive. The guys I write to almost never write back. It's starting to make me wonder if I'm just really, really ugly and nobody ever told me.

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But then there's the new thing, which I totally don't understand. Twice in the last couple weeks, I've written to guys on OK Cupid, and they've written back, and I've answered, and then I haven't heard from them again. Why would they answer me in the first place if they're not interested? Do they think this is being polite? Because it's making me feel worse than if they'd never replied at all.

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